The Weariest of Souls
by BitterEloquence
Summary: IDW: Optimus is feeling the weight of leadership and Ironhide helps him to relax and gain some perspective. Slash Optimus Prime/Ironhide. Written for tf rare pairing comm's August 2011 challenge.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters within, nor am I making any money off of this story. All I own are the twisted ideas floating around in my head.

Warnings: Mechs getting it on of the PnP variety.

Notes: Thank you to WyntirRose for betaing this fic.

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><p><em>Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest don't you cry no more<em> **- Kansas**

Optimus was tired. Not just physically, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

He was sick unto his spark of watching his Autobots go out and get torn to pieces by a superiorly armed and prepared Decepticon army. They were not warriors; they weren't prepared to go against mechs who'd been fighting for most of their lives and were whipped up into a fanatical frenzy by Megatron's insidiously charismatic rhetoric.

The Prime stared moodily down at the datapad he held in his hands and frowned beneath his battlemask. Overlord had plowed a swatch of destruction through the outpost on Pyrus 5 in what could only be called a massacre. And while Optimus might not have known all of them by face or by name, he silently committed those fallen Autobots to memory where at least that would live on in his cerebral cortex.

So long as someone remembered them, so long as their names were still stored away in his memory banks, he'd at least have the bitter knowledge that some part of his fallen troops lived on.

It was a cold, cold consolation prize.

Prime now understood the burden of leadership. It was hard to believe he'd ever been as young as Bumblebee or as eager to lead as Hot Rod. He saw within those young mechs the makings of great leaders but instead of bringing warmth to the Prime's spark, it brought only pain. Because one day, perhaps not tomorrow or even the next vorn, they would learn. They too would understand the soul-crushing reality that comes with leadership and Optimus mourned for the eventual loss of their innocence.

"I thought I'd find you here," Ironhide's gruff voice came from the doorway and Optimus lifted sober optics to study his old friend and valued mentor.

The older soldier meant more to Optimus than he could put into words. He was a constant fount of inspiration, practicality and sheer wisdom that Prime someday hoped he might possess.

He was also as a bad case of scraplets when he got his mind set on something.

"You should get some 'charge while you can," Ironhide reminded his friend with his typical brusque tone.

"Soon, Ironhide," Prime promised solemnly. "There are still things I need to attend to here."

"Give it to Prowl, it's what he's there for, ain't it? The mech is an over glorified secretarybot anyway." Pushing away from the door jam, Ironhide brazenly walked into the Prime's office. Not many mechs could boast such a privilege or had the brass bearings to do either.

"I doubt he would appreciate you marginalizing his position like that. Just don't say that within his audio-range?" Optimus joked wanly and fought the urge to rub his optics tiredly.

"Fine, he has more uses than just as a secretarybot," Ironhide agreed perhaps too readily. "After all, _someone_has got to run the numbers and keep track of the supplies."

Against his will, Prime found himself smiling faintly at his friend's attempt to lighten the mood. Accepting he wasn't going to get any work done while Ironhide was in the room, he tossed the datapad down and pinned the other mech with an amused glance. "I doubt he'll appreciate that either. Are there any other opinions you wish to express about my officers?"

"I'm sure I can come up with something if you want." Slipping behind the desk, the red mech picked up the datapad Optimus had discarded. "Is this the report from Pyrus 5?" he asked while skimming the text. Regret settled over the warrior's faceplates as he read over the names and summation of Overlord's latest killing spree.

"Poor kids, they didn't stand a chance….," he murmured quietly.

Optimus sagged almost imperceptibly in his chair. "No, they didn't. And if I'd known Overlord was in the area, I would have ordered them to withdraw."

"We keep losing ground, Optimus, we might not have a leg to stand on."

"It's a big universe, Ironhide," he sighed tiredly. "Besides, what did standing against Overlord accomplish? We still lost that sector and more importantly, we a battalion of good soldiers." Something dark and angry weaved its way through Optimus. Hatred was too pale a word to describe the complexity of his feelings tonight. It was too flat, too narrow a concept.

"I'm tired," Lacing his fingers before him, Prime leaned his elbows on the edge of the desk. "I'm tired of sending good soldiers out to get killed, I'm tired of losing ground…losing this _war_." He rarely admitted such things out loud, even to his trusted friend.

Optimus was a firm believer in shouldering the burden of leadership alone and unaided. If the troops caught wind of his flagging morale, it would be a crippling blow to mechs who were already tired and broken by the hardships of their continued civil war.

If he couldn't believe they'd win…how could they?

Ironhide understood however and that sorrow was echoed in his optics as he laid a heavy hand on Prime's shoulder. "I know you are, kid. We all are."

He squeezed Optimus's shoulder companionably to convey his understanding. "But if you sit here and burn yourself out with self-doubt and questioning your leadership abilities you're not going to be helping anyone. Now come on, you need to get some recharge."

Optimus glanced up at Ironhide suspiciously. "As I said—"

"It can wait. Now, are you going to come to the berth or am I going to have to play dirty?"

"Ironhide…." A wealth of exasperation was heard in the Prime's voice. "I really need to address this and Prowl has more than enough on his plate without my shrugging things off on him."

"Dirty it is then," Ironhide muttered direly as he moved behind Optimus and laid both of his hands on his leader's shoulder armor. He felt the Prime tense beneath his hold but soothingly stroked circles along the red armor to get him to calm down. It wasn't the first time Ironhide had seduced Optimus away from work and he knew it wouldn't be the last.

Still, pride was at stake after all and Optimus wouldn't give in without at least a token resistance. "Ironhide, I need to work,"

"No, what you need some recharge, but I'll settle for some one on one time with you and the berth," Ironhide teased roughly as he bent to nibble on the antenna gracing the top of Prime's helmet playfully.

Optimus fought down a shudder and caught the edge of the desk in a tight grip. "Ironhide….," he managed to grit out. "No, I need to work…" But he made no move to pull away from the older mech's ministrations.

"Liar." Chuckling softly, Ironhide continued to molest the tempting length of those antennae while his hands busied themselves with stroking and petting along Prime's shoulder armor.

As a mech known for his sheer brute strength, Ironhide could be surprisingly gentle and light with his touch when he chose to. Perhaps in some way, the teasing, feathery caresses were worse for the reluctant Prime because it had every sensor straining in anticipation of the red mech's next move.

He saw the moment Optimus melted into the attention and fought back a grin when he watched those broad shoulders sag almost imperceptibly.

Switching to the other antenna, Ironhide slipped the blunt edges of his fingers underneath plating to scratch lightly at the sensitive wiring underneath. Optimus bit back a groan and belatedly pressed the button to lock the door lest someone come in at an inopportune moment. "Primus…."

Ironhide lightly bit down on the sensitive metal just for the pleasure of watching Prime react and was rather pleased at the wanton moan that escaped the mech trying so desperately to hold onto his control.

"Are you willing to concede defeat?" the older mech teased as his lip components skimmed along Prime's jaw. He draped his arms over his lover's shoulders and toyed with the edges of his chestplates to further demonstrate his point.

The Prime just leaned back into the other mech's chassis and covered Ironhide's forearms with his dark hands.

"You can't get into the habit of just up and deciding it's time to stop working and time for berth-antics, Ironhide." He tried to reason and chastise but it was damned hard to be authoritative when his lover twisted his fingers _just so_and sent liquid ecstasy crawling through his processor.

"This is the kinda habit I could get used to." Something akin to a lecherous grin flitted across the other mech's faceplates. It was an expression that no doubt would be the subject of more than one mech's nightmares

Of course, the pragmatic side of Optimus also pointed out the thought of _himself_returning that lecherous look would have been discomforting for many of his army. He was all too aware of his reputation of being chaste and untouchable. It was something he'd very carefully wrought. The last thing the Autobots needed to worry about was their commander abusing his position by engaging in a sexual relationship with one of his subordinates.

But then, he remembered with a faint smile, he'd hardly been the one to initiate the affair.

"You're thinkin' too hard," Ironhide grumbled reprovingly and bit the underside of Prime's jaw in admonishment. "Get rid of the mask so I can kiss you properly." Few could get away with ordering Optimus Prime around but Ironhide was one of the few and Optimus did as ordered and retracted the battlemask.

"Bossy." Optimus admonished with a chuckle.

The older mech wasted no time and leaned in awkwardly over the Prime's shoulder to kiss him passionately. Tensor cables creaked unhappily at the strange angle but Ironhide stubbornly ignored it in favor of kissing his lover.

All semblance of control gone, Optimus kissed him back with equal passion. The position quickly grew awkward. With a growl of irritation he turned his chair slightly so that he could wrap his arms around the standing mech. Finding that this wasn't much of an improvement, he lifted Ironhide up with a swiftness that surprised his lover, and settled the red mech on the desk and into a much more kissable position.

Ironhide growled his approval against Prime's mouth and nibbled one of his lip components with surprising playfulness. "Ya locked the door, I hope?"

"Of course, no sense in scandalizing some poor mech," Optimus teased as he ghosted along Ironhide's jaw in a precise line of nibbles he knew would drive his lover up the wall. Sure enough, he was gratified with the rumble of Ironhide's engine revving roughly.

"Good, as much as I've to see Prowl glitchin' I don't think he's quite ready for this." With a decidedly predatory look, Ironhide leaned forward to molest the line of running lights gracing his lover's chest.

Prime wasn't one to just sit there inactive however and sought to distract the other mech from his maddening attentions and scraped his fingers along the seal of Ironhide's windshield. "I don't think he'd much appreciate it, no," Optimus joked breathlessly as he stifled another groan. "Primus...want you…"

"I'm right here, Prime….," Ironhide promised heatedly as he pulled away from those tempting lights before trailing along the larger mech's torso with his fingers.

"Optimus….," his lover murmured suddenly.

"Huh?" That had Ironhide glancing up at his lover with a puzzled look.

"In here, call me Optimus, not Prime." A wealth of knowledge and pain could be read in Prime's optics when he said those words. "I just want to be Optimus with you, not Prime."

Ironhide found himself smiling a trifle foolishly. "Alright, Optimus. I think I can handle that. Now comm'ere…," the older mech ordered with a grumble.

"Bossy…." But Optimus put up no fight when his lover tugged him in for another heated kiss that had both their engines purring. They both knew the other's body well and knew which spots to stroke, which to pet and which scratch at hard enough to trade paint.

Thankfully, their primary color schemes were similar enough, no one noticed the extra smear of red paint traded between them.

"Want you," was breathed between heated kisses.

"Want you too….," Ironhide groaned and stroked along the panel that covered his lover's interfacing jack.

Prime's fingers ghosted along the older mech's as well and it was with mutual consent that had their protective panels snapping open almost in unison. They had been lovers long enough to time things perfectly and dark fingers brushed as the two jacked in at the same time.

The connection was instantaneous as their firewalls, long since programmed to allow access opened and let the data stream between them. Optimus moaned hoarsely and frantically clutched for his lover as sensation coursed between them. It didn't matter how many times they did this, the sharing was overwhelming each time. Emotions and thoughts carried between the two lovers as they kissed.

The world outside of their connection faded into nothingness. All that mattered, all that existed was just the two of them.

Sensation was mirrored between them and Optimus could feel his hands grappling desperately along Ironhide's back. As the data packets traded between them carrying with it the depth of emotions their shared, Optimus picked up just a trace of something like regret transmitting from Ironhide's end of the connection.

Curious, he tried to follow that thread of scattered thought and emotion as his lover belatedly tried to hide that information from him.

_Ironhide?_ Confusion and hurt flickered through Prime. _What is it?_

_Nothing…it's stupid…._Striving to distract Optimus, he sent a burst of data and sensation across the connection. Prime's engine roared in answer and jaggedly skipped gear.

Not one to be so easily dissuaded, Optimus struggled for control and managed to drag his desire soaked processor out from the muddling connection. "Ironhide…."

Seeing his gambit failed, the older mech also tamped down on the connection until it slowed to a few stray packets. "It's nothing, Optimus. I…know and understand why this is all we can have…"

His hand fell to Prime's chestplates and pressed over the heavily armored area protecting his spark.

Understanding dawned on Optimus and his regretful acknowledgement carried even over the repressed hardline session.

_I'm sorry….I want more too but I can't…_He didn't trust himself to say the words out loud but they both knew Optimus could not risk his spark or the Matrix with any kind of spark play.

Irritated, Ironhide scowled bitterly. "I know that, Prime. That's why I said it was stupid." The usage of the title rather than the more intimate name slipped out without realization.

Cycling air through his vents, Optimus tightened his arms around his lover and pulled him down off the desk and into his lap. Shudders ran through them as the tactile sensation skittered between them. "If I could risk it, if I wasn't _Prime_I'd happily share sparks with you."

"I understand that too." A trace of aggravated petulance tinged the older mech's tone. "I'm not an idiot, Optimus. I knew all this before we started this." He settled more comfortably across the Prime's lap. The chair, while built to accommodate a mech of Optimus's stature, really wasn't built for two large frame mechs so they made the best they could of an uncomfortable situation.

Knowing he couldn't grant his lover what he wanted, Optimus moved to cup Ironhide's faceplates in a tender grip and carefully tilted the other mech's face up so he could meet his optics.

"I love you," the words were so significant yet so plainly offered. Optimus was not a mech moved by expressive gestures or overly romantic sentiments and though they'd been lovers for the better part of ten vorn, neither had ever managed to utter that statement. "Even if we can't share the most intimate parts of ourselves, I love you and wouldn't want any other mech but you by my side. Do you understand?"

Because he was watching so closely and because he understood Ironhide so well, Optimus spotted the rapid flicker of emotions playing across Ironhide's face. The surprise, regret, warmth and then a softening few mechs would ever be privy to. And, dare he hope it, a return of that love.

"….you just had to go and make things complicated," Ironhide finally stated. Despite the teasing words however, he did send a burst of answering emotion across the still active connection.

"Would you have it any other way?" Optimus groaned as he caught Ironhide's hips in a teasing grip.

"Not a chance," the older mech admitted before sealing his mouth over the Prime's once again. That effectively ended the conversation as the two mechs sank back into the shared sensations and thoughts conveyed between them.

Perhaps it was just Ironhide's imagination but the connection between them seemed more open now and he enjoyed access to Prime's deepest processes. The affection flowed freely between them as their bodies strained to keep up with the constant bombardment of pleasure and need.

They were hardly new models however and heated, quick overloads weren't their style. Instead, the pleasure swelled and ebbed between the longtime lovers as they explored each other's body with easy familiarity.

Time passed unnoticed and unheeded. All that mattered was renewing their new-found passion and when they both reached their peak, it was more like they were one being than two separate entities. Words were useless because they could not convey the depth of love and emotion that clashed through the two mechs' systems as overload finally hit.

Engines screamed as pleasure so intense it was blinding washed between them.

They were both left feeling weak and satiated as packets lazily transmitted. Unwilling to even lift his head from the crook of Prime's neck, Ironhide half moaned in tired contentment. "'M not moving from this spot."

"Good, I don't think I could move if I wanted to," Optimus admitted tiredly. The contentment shared between them was drugging and it was all he could do to sag in the chair with his arms loosely wrapped around the other mech's waist.

The two thoroughly satisfied mechs couldn't even find the energy to disconnect and just basked exhaustedly in the pleasure of the other's company. "I needed that, thank you." Without lifting his head from Ironhide's helm, Optimus pressed a tender kiss against his lover's head.

"S'good, needed that too…" Ironhide tiredly slurred before burrowing deeper into Prime's chest.

Amused at the reversal in their positions, Optimus tightened his grip and fought down a chuckle. And here Ironhide had come to him demanding he recharge.

That amusement and ironic thought carried across the link and Ironhide grumbled tiredly. "Yer thinking too hard, just recharge with me…."

"Bossy…." Optimus mumbled against Ironhide's head but did obediently power down his optics and nuzzled more comfortably into the curve of the others helm.


End file.
